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Welcome to the
lab! Much like a real laboratory, you might want to wear protective
gear, because you definitely will be exposed to some truly hideous
jokes. In this section, Dave will open up his notebook and will
share the stuff he's working on. Remember, 99.5% of this will eventually
be tossed out. Some are well thought out jokes, some are just funny
thoughts that might or might not be worthy of the stage (maybe it
needs another funny thought, but there's something there). Some
of these bits are just plain bad, and Dave hasn't come to grips
with that yet. Dave will try to keep this page fresh with new ideas
each week (one is bound to be funny..someday). If you like something,
speak up! For that matter, if you think this section would be better
served for something else (like movie reviews) - let us know - we
want to keep you interested.
With that said, here is Dave's untested material: |
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The new baby
sleeps on the bed with us. Basically, my wife is using him as an anti-sex
shield. I didn't expect my son to be a cock blocker. |
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My wife was gushing
about our son, "I love him so much." I was like, "yeah,
I love him too." She said, "No, but I love him more.."
I said, "No, I don't think so." "You don't understand,
he was inside me, I love him more." "Yeah? Well, I've been
inside you, you seem to love me less. |
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My wife speaks
English fluently, but she'll stumble on plurals. She was singing to
our son, "If you're happy and you know it claps your hands"...I
was like "Claps your hands? Who are you? Popeye?" She didn't
like that...she told me to go fucks myself. |
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